Did I
mention I have a weak spot for that (especially when it’s Megatron he’s taking
care of)?
Rodimus
being a hub means he’s got more hardline ports than most other bots which gives
him a natural affinity for leading a whole group of bots plugged into him (I’m
not saying orgy, but it’s kind of an orgy. Data orgy.). It’s just part of my
headcanon of how PnP can go. Other mechs that I think could be hubs are the
other Primes as well as Soundwave and generally mechs that connect with others on a regular baasis.
Most of the
text was written by the ever awesome Billy. ♥
Another commission for @cookie-waffle I haven’t drawn Cybertronians going at it for a long while, even longer when it comes to their goodies whipped out. So there you go – Elita and Optimus taking it. I suppose some commissions are gifts for many people, rather than just one. I certainly had fun.
I want this to be Thunderclash because I like to imagine him working in wetlands conservation and being super passionate about nature and the animals being a bit like Steve Irwin. He runs across the skin during patrol and immediately thought a poor, beautiful creature got killed for its skin and was bringing it into evidence.
Cue his utter confusion when a naked man – the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life – just angrily storms into his house and burrows himself in Thunderclash’s super plush bed because, ‘We’re married now so this bed is mine.’
(But also for real… Imagine Thunderclash hearing Rodimus out and believing him and his story when shown proof of it… not panicking, not questioning him… realising what the implications are and trying to right a wrong…
So he’s quick to give the selkie back his skin – To Roddy’s utter shock considering the horror stories he’s heard while growing up under Ultra Magnus’ care. While Thunderclash apologises profusely for the misunderstanding and stress this must have put the poor selkie, Roddy starts to develop an interest/fancy with ‘Clash.
So cue hilarious shenanigans as Thunderclash is the one being courted by a Roddy who is clueless about human courtships and Roddy’s +5000000 relatives ranging from the Lost Light swamp to Kup’s Wrecker pups bother poor ‘Clash, wanting to check the new guy out.)
the biggest lie, i think, the internet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny little twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
like a dragon…a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet…a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid form…would look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn’t even love them and go…yeah I’d like to fuck that
Counterpoint, my good man:
Dragonsfuck
Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I’m Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I’m not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
Counter-counterpoint: dragons are SUPER horny
Counter-counter-counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPERhorny they’ve got better prospects than spindly little bards!!!! They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!!! They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting volcano!
There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons; so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn’t washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon’s lair!
Seriously!!!
I don’t care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bite! When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can’t at least True Polymorph to make things interesting
triple-counterpoint:
you’re right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard’s sexual prospects with this post
OP is right and they should say it
Actually…
As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for horny-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM’s carefully planned Big Bad encounter and
fuck the dragon.
I’m not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so
Decepticonsensual's Armada 