kyraneko:
fierceawakening:
fierceawakening:
fierceawakening:
It’s not just “oh, life just isn’t fair” though. It’s “I didn’t deserve my trauma and I didn’t make it happen. Some people are just ableist and one of them hurt me, and I didn’t cause that.”
Like think of the Princess Bride (not memorized ack):
Angry kid: That isn’t FAIR! WHO GETS HUMPERDINCK?
Grandpa: What do you mean?
Angry kid: Someone always gets the bad guy? Is it Fezzik, Inigo, WHO?
Grandpa: No one gets him. He lives.
Angry kid: Sheesh, Grandpa! What did you read me this thing for?! IT’S NOT FAIR?
Grandpa: Who ever said life was fair?
I keep talking to myself, heh
I think my problem is… the only alternative I see to believing life isn’t fair is believing just world theory.
And all you need is the tiniest bit of trauma or oppression to see just world theory as the utterly horrifying fridge horror it actually is.
Just world theory (if you don’t realize it implies a lot of us deserve a lot of awful stuff) is noblebright—the chosen one will come and save us all. Things will sort themselves out In The End, even if we can’t see the end. Because the powers that order the world—magic or gods or laws or whatever—are fundamentally good, even if we can’t see that right now.
Life isn’t fair is hopepunk—all we’ve got is this and it isn’t making us any promises. And we have our hands and our minds and our resolve, and maybe we can’t make things right but we can make them better.
I suspect a chunk of the problem is people using it as an excuse for their own unfair treatment of others. If life, in all its chaotic, uncaring, largely chance-based glory, throws a few slings and arrows my way, that’s not a personal attack on me, but if some person deliberately fucks me over, I’m going to have a problem with it and feel reasonably justified in having it.
The next time somebody tells me “life isn’t fair” to excuse their screwing me over, I want to respond something like “let me clarify. you are being unfair. that is not chance, that is your active choice. this isn’t a life problem. this is a you problem.”
Life’s unfairness is not your excuse.
I think that there may also be a more meaningful split here, between those who believe the world already is as it should be and those who believe it isn’t.
Like: I’ve encountered people who think the world is basically fair, in the sense that if someone is a million times richer than someone else, they must also be a million times better and so deserve it. I’ve also encountered people who think the world isn’t fair, but are fine with that because that’s the way the world already is, social darwinism survival of the fittest blah blah. The two groups have different positions – one puts itself forward as a moral stance, the other is pretty much amoral – but they usually agree on the best course of action to take (eg, don’t tax rich people, whether because they’ve earned their wealth or because “you can’t interfere in the market”).
Likewise, I think people who hate the phrase “life isn’t fair” because they’ve had it used against them by people benefitting from its unfairness, and people who like the phrase because it emphasises that bad things happening are frequently not the fault of the people they happen to, would both agree that unfairness is a problem, and that taking action to make the world more fair is a good thing.